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2012 SEC Football Preview

What to watch for in the SEC this year:

Best Team – LSU
After last year tremendous season, that fell a game short of the National Championship, the Tigers will have a chip on their shoulder. That means bad news for the rest of the SEC -- and all of college football for that matter. LSU will win the 2013 BCS Championship Game, making it seven (7) in a row for the best college football conference in history -- the Southeastern Conference.

Worst Team – Ole Miss/Kentucky
Both these teams are so bad, there was a rumor this summer they both might give up the game. They were talked out of it by officials from Tennessee, who pleaded with them not to drop football since if they left, the Vols would get the title of SEC’s worst team.

Team Ascending: Auburn
The Tigers have recruited well the last few years and will challenge Alabama and LSU in the years to come for the SEC West championship. After two top ten recruiting classes and a coaching staff that has won the big game before, the future looks bright on the Loveliest Village on the Plains

Team Descending: Arkansas
John L. Smith couldn’t get it done at Michigan State where he once threw his coaches under the bus during a half-time interview. He was also on the sidelines when the Spartans blew a 37-21 4th quarter lead to Notre Dame at home. Arkansas gave him a 10-month (not year, month) contract leaving open the possibility to bring in another head coach for “the future of the program.” That can’t do wonders for your security and could lead to chaos in Fayetteville for years to come.

Best Offensive Player: Aaron Murray, Georgia
You thought Matthew Stafford was good, if Murray builds off his tremendous sophomore season, he will set records that will never be broken. Coach Richt just needs to make sure he stays off the spring break party circuit.

Best Defensive Player: Jadeveon Clowney, South Carolina
As a freshman, Clowney showed the SEC what the hype was all about. In 2012, with a year of experience under his belt, and a year to get bigger and stronger, he will be a beast.

Most exciting Player: Tyrann Mathieu, LSU
This guy makes big plays in the big games. Punt returns for touchdowns, fumble returns for touchdowns and playing a mean secondary. Every time he touches the ball, the crowd has to hold their breath, and that is the mark of an exciting player.

SEC Must See Games:

Auburn vs. Clemson – Atlanta - September 1st

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and that is what you have in Atlanta on the opening Saturday of the season. Dabo “Mr. Relaxed” Swinney got a little too animated after ending Auburn’s winning streak last year in Death Valley. You think Gene Chizik has forgotten that display?

Florida at Texas A&M – September 8th
The first ever SEC game for the Aggies comes in College Station and they get a tough one as the Gators come to town. Over 83,000 screaming Aggies will fill Kyle Field. Do you think they might be a little loud?

Georgia at South Carolina – October 6th
This one will determine the winner of the SEC East and a place in the Georgia Dome in December. Carolina is at home, but Georgia has the easier schedule. Marcus Lattimore is back, and that might make all the difference in the world, but don’t count out Aaron Murray who might have the last word as to who wins this one.

Alabama at LSU – November 3rd.
The two super powers of the country meet in Baton Rouge to resume what has been a battle to the death in recent years. The winner of this game should win the West, as well as contend for a chance at the national championship when it is all said and done.

Tennessee at Vanderbilt – November 17th
After last year’s near victory in Knoxville, coach James Franklin took exception to Derek Dooley’s post game comments. The ‘Doores have had all year to get steamed up about the loss and what took place after it. Look for this one to be an ugly, old-fashioned blood feud when they go head to head in Nashville.

Mississippi State at Ole Miss - November 24th
This might be the last chance for the Rebels to break their SEC record losing streak. It was 14 when the season started, and by this one, it will certainly be 21.

Kentucky at Tennessee - November 24th
The ‘Cats ended Tennessee’s NCAA record 26 game winning streak over Big Blue last year, so they know how to beat the Vols. Why would we want to watch this? Everyone loves a good train wreck, and this one could possibly have two teams who are winless in the SEC, and this game will determine who pulls a goose egg for the year.

SEC All-Name team


Vinnie Sunseri â€" After he went to Alabama to help his cousin beat a murder rap, he loved the place so much he decided to go to school there.

Ha-Sean Clinton-Dix – Cougar-Mellencamp.

Nick Tinker – Wasn’t he one of Brad Wesley’s gang in Road House?

Jeoffrey Pagan – He doesn’t believe in praying before games.

Trey Depriest – You won’t find him hanging out with Jeoffrey Pagan.

William Ming – Wanted to come to Alabama to be part of a dynasty.

Cyrus Kouandjio – Hope he’s recovering from the gunshot wound when he tried to lead all the gangs of New York City in The Warriors.

Marvin Shinn – He might have an idea of where you are going to try to kick him.

Hardie Buck – Didn’t they do a movie about his life called, Uncle Buck?


Elton Ford – His parents must have been big fans of Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert.

Quinta Funderburk – I can wait until Verne Lundquist tries to pronounce this one.

Dakota Baggett – He’s really from Montana.

Kaelon Kellybrew – I heard his microbrewery is doing really well.

Kiero Small – Hopefully, he doesn’t play like it.

Alonzo Highsmith – I am glad the NCAA granted him a 34th year of eligibility.

Alan D'Appollonio – Wasn’t his grandmother blown up in The Godfather?

DeQuinta Jones – So it was his hotel I stayed at that night in Phenix City.

Jeremiah Jackson – Wasn’t that the name of that 70’s movie starring Robert Redford?


Quan Bray – One of the most popular dinners at the China Panda. Make sure to order an extra egg roll to sop up the sauce.

Wirth Campbell – Hopefully, he is Wirth all the hype.

T’Sharvan Bell – I wonder if he has issues when he tries to set up new phone service?

Daniel Pond – I’ll bet he tells his buddies, “We have a pool, and a Pond. Natural spring, which would be good for you.”

Jawara White – Wasn’t he one of the guys selling droids to Luke Skywalker’s family in Star Wars?

Chandler Shakespeare – I’ll bet his friends can read him like a book.

Clay Finkelstein â€" If he doesn’t get a job by sundown, he’s being shipped off to military school. And throw in the fact his brother Larry won the hot dog eating contest at the Camp North Star-Camp Mohawk Olympiad and he has a lot on his shoulders.

Philip Lutzenkirchen– Didn’t Sheriff Bart in Blazing Saddles say his limit was 15 on Lutzenkirchens?

Bobby Ingalls – I wonder if he gets homesick thinking about his family’s little house on the prairie?


Loucheiz Purifoy – With a name like that, this guy must get all the chicks.

Valdez Showers – It is going to be 72 for the high in Gainesville and look for some late night Valdez Showers close to the campus.

Mack Brown – Did he get run out of Austin and I am just hearing about it?

Moses Jenkins – He will lead the Gators to the Promised Land.

Minch Minchin â€" I'm sure I have Minchined his name before.

Gerald Christian – I hope he and Jeoffrey Pagan don’t meet up on the field.

Christopher Guido – I’ll bet he has black hair and wears a wife beater t-shirt under his jersey.

Shariff Floyd – I shot the Shariff, but I didn’t shoot deputy…

Trip Thurman – He has trouble standing up on the field.

Hygens Succes – Wasn’t he a presenter at the Positive Thinking Rally?

Francisco Velez – His family used to live on the corner of Haight and Asbury.


Blake Sailors – I’ll bet Navy and Vanderbilt recruited this guy hard.

Luis Capella – This guy sings a lot of solos.

Jordan Love – This guy has his own late night radio talk show in Athens, giving out romantic advice while he sips Courvoisier.

Rantavious Wooten – I wonder if this guy goes off a lot?

Bacarri Rambo – One of the captains of the all-SEC name Team, Rambo is not only a great football player, but could be a secret agent too. The name is Rambo…Bacarri Rambo. (Say that a few times, it really sounds cool).

Greg Mulkey – Wasn’t he and his brother Randy one of the jobber tag teams in Georgia Championship Wrestling?

Israel Troupe- This guy was great during his one-man show in Tel Aviv.

Quintaveous Harrow – Verne better star practicing this one now.

Kosta Valvas - Wasn’t he one of the cousins in My Big Fat Greek Wedding?


Bookie Cobbins – Check with him if you need a point spread.

Ryan Phillippi – I was sorry to hear his marriage to Reese Witherspoon didn’t work out.

La'Rod King â€" Wasn't this one of those amazing fishing rod commercials you saw during the late movie?

Glenn Faulkner â€" Wait until he and Chandler Shakespeare from Auburn play each other. The story should win a Pulitzer Prize.

CoShik Williams – Another captain of the All SEC name Team. With a name like that, if he and Loucheiz Purifoy ever hung out together, there wouldn’t be any women for the rest of us.

Toba Omotinugbon – Wasn’t he a villain in the Dick Tracy movie?

Mike Douglas – Loved his variety show in the 70’s.

Donte Rumph – I didn’t get a ha Rumph out of that guy. Give the Governor ha Rumph!

Shaquille Love â€" This guy has always loved basketball at LSU.

Stephen Duff – Wasn’t he Flounder in Animal House?

Trevino Woods – With a name like that, don’t ever play golf against this guy.

Mister Cobble – I think we used those guys to repair my Dad’s shoes.


Hayden Boudreaux – Good to see his brother got a scholarship to play basketball for Pete Bell at Western University.

Cleveland Davis – He’s really a Bengals fan.

A’Trey U-Jones – No, I’m not Jones, but the tray is over by the bookshelf.

Alfred Blue – I thought his Grandfather beat the Grey Ghost when they raced outside his BBQ restaurant. Glad the beer and BBQ was on Lawrence.

Ego Ferguson – This guy thinks way too much of himself.

Barkevious Mingo – The third captain of the team. With a name like that, you would have thought Georgia and Mississippi State would have done anything to have him on their team.

Lavar Edwards – Good to see he left BYU to give it a go for the Fighting Tigers.

LSU Tigers head coach Les MilesLSU Tigers head coach Les Miles talks during media day for the 2012 BCS National Championship game to be played on January 9, 2012 against the Alabama Crimson Tide at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Photo Courtesy By: Derick E. Hingle-US PRESSWIRE.

Mississippi State

Chad Bumphis – He is sorry their dogs that terrorized Ralphie’s father in A Christmas Story.

Sylvester Hemphill â€" She has a nut case for a husband. He moved close to Memphis to be closer to Elvis. What do you think his name is? Elvis Aaron Sylvester Hemphill. (I hope Mitch McDeere from The Firm was listening)

Baker Sweedburg – Wasn’t he the chef on the Muppets?

Asian Ruff – You will find this if you hit a bad golf shot in Hong Kong. Or what a Shar Pei dog sounds like when he barks. (Sorry, those were so good, I couldn’t choose between the two)

Ferlando Bohanna – Isn’t he the host of the nighttime news on Telemundo?


Jimmy Costello – I’ll bet his teammates want him to do that “Who’s on first” routine a lot.

Corbin Berkstresser – I hope this guy can chill out during the season.

J.J. Moe – He was really sorry Larry and Curley didn’t qualify academically.

Kentrell Brothers – Wasn’t this a popular R&B group in the 70’s?

Anthony Gatti – Is this guy known at the Teflon Football Player?

Ole Miss

Chief Brown – I hope the NCAA doesn’t make him change his name.

Philander Moore – I am sure he has lots of women friends.

Houston Keyes – One of the new and great vacation spots.

Cameron Wigham â€" His father is doing a great job as the chief of police in Springfield.

Taurus Word – He’s really an Aries.

Rufus French – No longer with the Rebs, but he is an honorary captain of the SEC All Name Team

South Carolina

Sheldon Royster – Sheldon can do your taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon is your man. But running the football is not Sheldon’s strong suit.

Sharrod Golightly – I hear his sister spends a lot of time eating breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Ace Sanders â€" The Air Force Academy really wanted this guy.

Lamar Scruggs – I have been meaning to ask him how his buddy Flatt is doing.

Payton Brady – This guy is going to be one helluva quarterback.

Kadetrix Marcus – This one has to keep Verne Lundquist up nights.

Shaq Wilson – Another one that got away from LSU.

Justice Cunningham – This guy always gets what’s coming to him.


Tyler Drummer – He sings lead in the band.

Vincent Dallas – This sounds like the fake name you give police when you get busted outside a bar.

Marsalis Teague – He’s going to get medieval on someone.

Da’Rick Rogers – Da’ Rick better catch Da’Ball a lot, or Da’Errick Da’Ooley won’t be Da’Coach much longer.

Dontavis Sapp – He better play like Warren or he will be known as a big one.

Trevarris Saulsberry â€" I think I bought some of these Banquet TV dinners last week.

Texas A&M

Jameill Showers – When he and Florida’s Valez Showers get together on September 8th in College Station, bring your umbrellas.

Floyd Raven – Is this guy feared for evermore?

Uzoma Nwachukwu – Somewhere, Verne is cowering in the fetal position.

DeVonta Burns – This is what happens when you go through two a days without sunscreen.

Mister Jones – Is this the guy Counting Crows did a song about?

Darzil Washington – Wasn’t he one of the Solid Gold dancers?

Justin Ortega – The Aggies love going over to Justin’s for Taco night after practice.

Chase Dube – Is this what you do after you Pass the Ductchie?

Rhontae Scales – I hope he makes his weight this year.

Shep Kline – Shep No! He just gets so excited when new people come over…

Gaston Lamascus – Is this what happens when you don’t take your Mylanta.

Ben Breadthauer – This guy better not loaf during practice.


Udom Umoh – He should be playing for The U.

Lafonte Thourogood – This guy is bad to the bone.

Andre Hal – Hope he isn’t shallow like his brother.

Robby Barbieri – His sister Paula is pretty hot.

Jabo Burrow – Is this what they tell you to yell when you are riding donkeys in Mexico?

Jimmy Stewart – I’ll bet he is having a wonderful life in Nashville.

Here's some different 2012 SEC Football Predictions you might like better (especially if you are an Arkansas fan).

Here's our Preview of the NCAA 2012 College Football Season and Bowls.

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