2013 SEC Football Week 1 Review; Week 2 Preview

By Scott Sergent

Week 1 Results

South Carolina 27 – North Carolina 10

Pretty much as expected as the 'Cocks tuned up for their huge game in Athens this weekend.

Don't see too much into what Jadevon Cloney did on Thursday night.  Saturday afternoon in Athens is when we will see if this guy is a Heisman contender or not.

By the way, the guy that gave Clowney the cheap shot?  I think they wrote the targeting rule specifically for that moron.  Why didn't that jackass get tossed?  And not just for a game, but for the year?

If I were king, that guy would be off the field and picking up trash alongside I-40 somewhere in rural North Carolina.

Ole Miss 39 – Vanderbilt 35

That's why they are Vanderbilt.  No matter how many times the 'Doores choke, I still get a tee hee saying that.  How many times has the Gold had the one win that would elevate their program only to see them do something stupid, or miss a game winning field goal, or blow and assignment, or let up a miracle touchdown?  Gee, let me get my calculator.

It was fun to read all the comments on Twitter and Facebook Thursday night as Vandy came back from a 10-0 hole to blow by the Rebs and make it look as if they would be relevant in the SEC. 

"Anchor Down!  Here come the 'Doores!"  "Can't spell Vanderbilt Commodores without BCS."  "Do we have a guy named Sherman on our team?  Looks like it since the Rebs are retreating again."  (Gee, did someone stay up all night thinking that one up?)

Surprisingly, I did not see any of those eggheads on social media early Friday morning after the choke job, or since then for that matter.

Ole Miss got the win they needed to put them in a position to go forward in their rebuilding.  Vandy?  They have that same old surprised, tired look.  Only this time, the guy wearing it has as much hair as he has wins this year…

Florida 24 – Toledo 6

The Gators picked up right where they left off last year.  Winning by boring the hell out of their opponents for 60 minutes.

Well, whatever gets you a win I suppose….

Texas A&M 52 – Rice 31

Speaking of morons, is there a bigger one that Johnny Foot In the Mouth Manziel?

The great ones never had to lower themselves like this idiot has by jawing with opponent and making gestures like he did on Saturday.  Manning (All of them), Wureffel, Sullivan, and McCarron are all examples of what an SEC QB is all about both on and off the field.

Manziel is a punk, both on and off the field.  Is he the rich, spoiled kid who didn't get enough love at home, so now he has to play the boob to get some attention? As far as I am concerned, he is a train wreck, and A&M will never win big with him there.  Sure, they might upset Bama in a few weeks, but with him, they will sooner or later go down in flames.  

Nobody with the character that this guy has can inspire the men he is responsible for to greatness.

Oklahoma State 21 – Mississippi State 3

Well as we expected, the Cowboys shellacked the Bulldogs.  Where is that offensive genius we usually see from Dan Mullen?

Especially against a Big 12 defense, which resembles the old San Diego Chargers Swiss cheese defensive scheme.

If this is the best they can do, Coach Mullen might be hearing Judge Smails somewhere in the distance, "You better get rid of that offense, or I will be looking for a new coach.  Is that clear?"

I just hope he puts his best man on it.

Arkansas 34 – LA –Lafayette 14

As with most conversations with my wife, I had to admit I was wrong.  Good thing she is not an Arkansas fan or I really would never hear the end of it...I said Arkansas was not ready yet after last year's mess, but I underestimated them.

Bret Bielema made a nice splash into SEC land with a thumping of Ragin' Cajuns as Sophomore Jonathan Williams rushed for 151 yards and freshman Alex Collins ran for 131 as the Hogs had a 522-274 advantage in total yardage.

The former Wisconsin coach said he was going to bring a power running attack to Fayetteville, and on Saturday, he lived up to his promise.

Alabama 35 – Virginia Tech 10

Is Alabama so good that we are all spoiled?  

When they don't blow out an opponent, does the media forecast their doom?

When they go three and out, is it time to get a new Offensive Coordinator?

When A.J. McCarron throws an incomplete pass, is it time to yank him since the season is lost?

Come on, media and Tide fans, this is a good team.  Not every team is sharp on the opening Saturday, and clearly Bama wasn't their usual self.  But on this day, when they were not at their best, they still won by 25 points.

Cut the kids some slack.

Besides, on September 14th, we will see if they are who we thought they would be.  (I just slammed my fist on my desk like Dennis Green for effect.  Just wanted you to know...)

2013 SEC Football Week 1 Review; Week 2 Preview
Aug 31, 2013; Atlanta, GA, USA: Alabama Crimson Tide quarterback AJ McCarron (10) throws under pressure from Virginia Tech Hokies defensive tackle Nigel Williams (95) during the fourth quarter of the 2013 Chick-fil-A Kickoff game at the Georgia Dome. Photo courtesy by Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports.

Tennessee 45 – Austin Peay 0

The Vols gave Butch Jones a nice opening day present with a shutout of Austin Peay.

The Big Orange better savor it, since the next three weeks are Western Kentucky, Oregon and Florida, so Butchie better enjoy last Saturday, then quickly forget about it since the waters become very rocky starting this week in Knoxville.

Auburn 31 – Washington State 24

Robenson Therezie picked off two passes, including one in the end zone with less than five minutes remaining to stop a Wazzu drive for a possible tying touchdown as Auburn held off the pesky Cougars.

What was interesting about that is Auburn only had two interceptions all of last year.

Missouri 58 – Murray State 14

Good to see Missouri held up the honor of the SEC.

And really glad they slammed Murray State so my former co-worker (The Murray State Alum who was a total tool when we worked together) would have a really crappy weekend.

W. Kentucky 35 – Kentucky 26

Somewhere, the used car salesman turned football coach Bobby Petrino was smiling and giggling like a villain in an Austin Powers movie.

Playing the school that spurned his services, the Hilltoppers made it two in a row just as I predicted, and in the process, made Mark Stoops debut a real horror movie.

The Cats had to rally from 35-17 down to make it close, but it really wasn't.

Thank God Missouri held up the honor of the SEC...

LSU 37 – TCU 27

Is it just me, or did you think the TCU helmets looks like the beer company Red Stripe sponsored them?  

When I saw those helmets, I had to quote Mr. Porky in the comedy classic, Better off Dead, when he looks at John Cusack and quips, "Hmm, you look pretty stupid to me..."

Apparently, when Horned Frogs sense danger, they shoot blood out of their eyes as a self defense, so that was the idea of having a red stripe across the side.

Well, they must have shot a gusher at the Bengal Tigers as LSU looked really good in the ten point victory over a Top 20 program in a pseudo home game for the Frogs.

Terrence Magee rushed for 95 yards and two scores, while Zach Mettenberger threw for 251 yards and tossed a late touchdown to Jarvis Landry to seal the deal.

Oh, and by the way, LSU's defense looked pretty darn good too, especially after losing a lot of talent to the NFL.  Les Miles boys might not be dead just yet...

Clemson 38 – Georgia 35

In the best game of the night, Clemson outlasted Georgia in an offensive slugfest as the Tigers won for the first time against the Bulldogs in 23 years.

Both defenses could not stop a light breeze as Georgia gained 545 yards and Clemson 467.  However, as SEC play starts, that is not good news for a Bulldog defense that is young.  Many said these guys were good and would play better than expected so the Dawg Nation need not worry.  Oops.

Todd Gurley looked incredible, despite having a thigh injury, as he will most certainly run around and over every defense he sees this year.  In my mind, he should be placed above Jadevon Cloney for the Heisman right now.

However, it was mistakes and an inability of the Georgia line to protect Murray that led to their downfall.

Clemson finally played like Clemson, so I was forced to eat crow and quoted Johnny Ringo from Tombstone, "Well, I didn't think you had it in ya..."

And of course Tajh Boyd called and said, "I'll be your Huckleberry, Coach Scooter..."

Week 2 Predictions (last week 11-2)

The Little Debbie Report

Among the cupcake games for the weekend, grab a glass of milk and read on…

Miami (Ohio) at Kentucky

Can they lose two weeks in a row?  Nah, Mark Stoops gets win #1 as Wildcats head man.

Kentucky 49 – Miami (Ohio) 7

Toledo at Missouri

Do the Rockets secretly want to be the 15th member of the SEC?  Two weeks, two straight SEC opponents.  What in the name of Max Klinger is going on here?

What's going on is for the second straight week, the same result.

Missouri 35 – Toledo 14

Alcorn State at Mississippi State

Aw "shucks" Alcorn State has State's "ear" this week.  I know it might sound "corny" but the Bulldogs will "pop" the Braves this weekend.  So "cob" a walk fans, since I "butter" pick MSU this week…

Mississippi State 27 – Alcorn State 10

Samford at Arkansas

Bret Bielema should get victory number two this weekend.  With that running game, Samford could erect a brick wall and the Hogs would still rush for about a bazillion yards.

Arkansas 42 – Samford 14


UAB better bring its A game or it will be MIA when it goes to BR to meet LSU in DV.  

The BT's will get the W for the SEC and make LA happy to have LM spelling out another victory.

LSU 56 – UAB 10

SE Missouri State at Ole Miss

Ole Miss gets a breather after their must win last week.  Hoddy Toddy!

Ole Miss 34 – SE Missouri State 14

Sam Houston State at Texas A&M

Did I mention earlier that Johnny Manziel is a punk?  Well we are later on in this blog and I think he is an even bigger punk that he was when I started this thing.

Aggies win, but who cares?

Texas A&M 39 – Sam Houston State 7

Arkansas State at Auburn

I like Auburn hanging tough last week in the closing stages of their game with Washington State.  Those are the kinds of victories that help a program rebound.

And playing Arkansas State is also a big help too…

Auburn 35 – Arkansas State 17

Austin Peay at Vanderbilt

The Governors move from Knoxville to Nashville this week to take on another SEC foe on the road.

I know what will happen.  James Franklin will run his mouth, probably punch someone out, and the 'Doores will win by at least 20 so all the Anchor Down nonsense can start again.

They still blew it last week. That's why they are Vanderbilt. 

God, I love saying that.

Vanderbilt 55 – Austin Peay 14 

Intriguing Matchups

Florida at Miami

I know South Florida is the place old people go to die…er…retire.  Maybe that will suit the Gators Rip Van Winkle offense?

Nah, I think it plays right into the hands of the Hurricanes as they are used to seeing the Golden Girls at their games.

Miami 28 – Florida 14

W. Kentucky at Tennessee

A lot of people looked at this game a few years ago on the Vols schedule and thought it was a gimmie.  I thought it was going to b a Little Debbie game, but I don't think so.

With the 'Toppers and Bobby Petron coming to town, and fresh off a victory over Kentucky, they get a Tennessee team that is in the middle of a rebuilding effort.

Can they get any more breaks? 

This one is close, and in the end, playing at home and with a new attitude that they have the confidence to win the close games, the Vols get it done, but the outcome will not be decided until late in the fourth quarter.  Don't sleep on WKU.

Tennessee 35 – Western Kentucky 27

South Carolina at Georgia

Now we come to the headline game in the SEC this Saturday.

There is no love lost between these teams, and this year is no exception.

USC has beaten UGA three straight years and have personally been a nightmare for Aaron Murray.

I think Carolina is the better team, and after last week has the momentum, whereas Georgia is wondering how they let one slip away and has to be questioning themselves.

However, if UGA was going to lose, better it be last week than this week, so they have that going for them.

This is the reason why Georgia will win the game.  They have their backs to the wall, they are at home, and they know one more loss ends their season.  

They are also on what is referred to in The Art of War as Death Ground.

Death Ground means you fight until the death, because you have no other means of escape.  For any invading force, that is not an enemy you want to tangle with.

Georgia is desperate, that is why they will win.

Georgia 31 – South Carolina 28

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